TENURE GUARANTEED--OR YOUR MONEY BACK!

Dear Fellow Scientist:

This letter has been around the world at least seven times.  It has
 been to many major conferences.  Now it has come to you.  It 
 will bring you good fortune.  This is true even if you don't believe 
  it.  But you must follow these instructions: 

 -  include in your next journal article the citations below.
 -  remove the first citation from the list and add a citation to 
        your journal article at the bottom.
 -  make ten copies and send them to colleagues.

Within one year, you will be cited up to 10,000 times!  This will
amaze your fellow faculty, assure your promotion and improve
your sex life.  In addition, you will bring  joy to many colleagues.
Do not break the reference loop, but send this letter on today. 

Dr. H. received this letter and within a year after passing it on 
she was elected to the National Academy of Sciences.  Prof. M.
threw this letter away and was denied tenure.  In Japan, Dr.  I. 
received this letter and put it aside.  His article for Trans. on
Nephrology was rejected.  He found the letter and passed it on, 
and his article was published that year in the New England 
Journal of Medicine.  In the Midwest, Prof. K. failed to pass on 
the letter, and in a budget cutback his entire department was 
eliminated.  This could happen to you if you break the chain of
citations. 

1. Miller, J. (1992). Post-modern neo-cubism and the wave
       theory of light.     Journal of Cognitive Artifacts, 8, 113-117. 

2. Johnson, S. (1991). Micturition in the canid family: the irresistable
       pull of the hydrant.  Physics Quarterly, 33, 203-220. 

3. Anderson, R. (1990).  Your place or mine?: an empirical comparison 
      of two models of human mating behavior.  Psychology 
      Yesterday 12, 63-77. 

4. David, E. (1994). Modern Approaches to Chaotic Heuristic
      Optimization:  Means of Analyzing Non-Linear Intelligent
      Networks with Emergent Symbolic Structure. (doctoral
      dissertation, University of California at Santa Royale El
      Camino del Rey Mar Vista by-the-sea).