How was that again?

SUBJECT:  It loses something in translation ...

*A French radio station closed its programming day with this note:
"We hope you have enjoyed our nocturnal emissions and will be with
 us tomorrow for more."

*When a French Canadian politician was applauded by an American
 audience, he beamed, "I thank you for giving my wife and me the clap!
 I thank you from the heart of my bottom!"

*A notice in a Madras, India, newspaper proclaimed, "Our editors are
 colleged and write like the Kipling and the Dickens."

*In The Moscow Times an ad under the heading "interpreting" advised, 
 "bet us your letter of business translation do. Every people in our staffing
 know English like the hand of their back. Up to the minuet wise-street 
 phrases, don't you know, old boy."

*IN A SARAJEVO HOTEL: Guests should announce abandonment of
 their rooms before 12 o'clock, emptying the room at the latest until
 14 o'clock for the use of the room before 5 at the arrival after the
 16 o'clock at the departure will be billed as one more night.

*IN A HOTEL IN WEIFANG, CHINA: Invisible service is available  
 for your rest not being disturbed.

*FROM A HOTEL BROCHURE IN QINGDAO: Hua Tian Hotel is  among the
 few best foreign affairs hotels.

*IN THE BROCHURE OF AN ITALIAN HOTEL IN THE DOLOMITES AREA: 
 Standing among savage scenery, the hotel offers stupendous revelations.
 There is a French widow in every room. We can offer you a commodious 
 chamber, with balcony imminent to a romantic gorge. We hope you want 
 to drop in. In the close village you can buy jolly memorials for when you
 pass away.

*IN A BROCHURE PROMOTING A SORRENTO HOTEL:
 Syrene Bellevue Hotel joins a modern functional equipment with a
 distinguished and smart style of the 18th century. It is located on the
 seas, far off the centre a few minutes afoot and owing to a number of
 gardens and sunny terraces, guarantee is given for an ideal stay in
 stillness and absolute rest.  The restaurant salon with a large view of 
 the Gulf of Naples, a restaurant service with a big choice, the private
 beach to be reached by a lift from inside directly, complete the
 undiscussable peculiarities of this unit.

*FROM A VENEZUELAN TRAVEL BROCHURE: 
 In this Expedition you will know the highets waterfall in the world.
 From Canaima, through the Sabana, the Jungles and the rivers
 Carrao and Churun, you'll enjoy one of the biggets emotions of this
 life. And the facilities Camp.  Guides as natives, all experts, will
 bring you trough troubles waters, just where a few have made it. 
 Be you one of them.  Meals in open fire never taste so goo.

*ON A "FAMILY STYLE" RESTAURANT IN HONG KONG: 
 Come Broil Yourself at Your own Table.

*ON A CHINESE MENU: Mr. Zheng and his fellowworkers like to meet 
 you and entertain you with their hostility and unique cooking techniques.

*ON ANOTHER CHINESE MENU: Special cocktails for women with nuts.

*ON A GREEK MENU: Spleen omelet, fisherman's crap soup, calf pluck,
 bowels.

*ON A BUDAPEST MENU: Special today - no ice cream.

*OUTSIDE A MEXICO CITY DISCO: Members and Non-Members Only

*SIGN ON A FERRY IN SAN JUAN HARBOR: In case of emergency, the
 lifeguard are under the seat in the center of the vessel.

*IN A JEWELER'S WINDOW IN INDIA: We shoot earholes.